I haven’t written in so long I’m not even sure where to begin, life has been busy and a whirlwind of activity. I have been stressed, overwhelmed, pushed to the brink of falling off the cliff, life feels like its spinning out of control, but the moment I get to the point of feeling like I can not possibly take one more step, I look up and see my God standing there holding His hand out to me, all I have to do is take His hand and He will take control, but I have to let Him and that is never easy……I just need to trust Him, He will never let me fall off the cliff that I feel so precariously balanced on. I’m having a hard time finding balance between work, being a mom, being a wife, friend and so on and it is at those times I feel like I am drowning and can’t catch my breath. I feel like a failure when my kids have to stay after school at the after school program because I have so much work that I can’t pick them up right after school which is what I used to do, I feel like a failure as a wife when I look at the house and it’s not picked up or the laundry is either not done or folded and put away as it should, when dinner is the quickest thing can possibly get on the table because it is already 7 O’Clock and no one has been fed, then there’s the times I mess up at work, or I don’t get something done on the day I set out to get it done and owners are calling mad as heck that I didn’t get their deposit made on the day they thought I should. At the end of the day when I stop and look around……I see that I am blessed and have a lot to be thankful for and I serve an awesome God who has my back through it all and is constantly there to help me and love me and I am never a failure in His eyes and honestly I’m not a failure in the eyes of my family either. I have to remember that when I get knocked down by those feelings of stress, failure, being out of control and being totally overwhelmed, that I have to get back up and keep going. If I just give all those ugly feelings to God and ask His help, He will take my burdens as His own. In Matthew 11:28 it says,” Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” What a great verse…I need to lean more on Jesus and less on myself, and He will give me the rest I am so desperately seeking.
I love you. The fact you look to God means you are not a failure.
Philippians 4:8-9 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.