Ak Christian Wife

Life

akchristianwife — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 01:08:59 +0000

I haven’t written in so long I’m not even sure where to begin, life has been busy and a whirlwind of activity. I have been stressed, overwhelmed, pushed to the brink of falling off the cliff, life feels like its spinning out of control, but the moment I get to the point of feeling like I can not possibly take one more step, I look up and see my God standing there holding His hand out to me, all I have to do is take His hand and He will take control, but I have to let Him and that is never easy……I just need to trust Him, He will never let me fall off the cliff that I feel so precariously balanced on. I’m having a hard time finding balance between work, being a mom, being a wife, friend and so on and it is at those times I feel like I am drowning and can’t catch my breath. I feel like a failure when my kids have to stay after school at the after school program because I have so much work that I can’t pick them up right after school which is what I used to do, I feel like a failure as a wife when I look at the house and it’s not picked up or the laundry is either not done or folded and put away as it should, when dinner is the quickest thing can possibly get on the table because it is already 7 O’Clock and no one has been fed, then there’s the times I mess up at work, or I don’t get something done on the day I set out to get it done and owners are calling mad as heck that I didn’t get their deposit made on the day they thought I should. At the end of the day when I stop and look around……I see that I am blessed and have a lot to be thankful for and I serve an awesome God who has my back through it all and is constantly there to help me and love me and I am never a failure in His eyes and honestly I’m not a failure in the eyes of my family either. I have to remember that when I get knocked down by those feelings of stress, failure, being out of control and being totally overwhelmed, that I have to get back up and keep going. If I just give all those ugly feelings to God and ask His help, He will take my burdens as His own. In Matthew 11:28 it says,” Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” What a great verse…I need to lean more on Jesus and less on myself, and He will give me the rest I am so desperately seeking.

The story of Makenna

akchristianwife — Thu, 10 May 2012 04:07:14 +0000

The story of Makenna

July 4th 1999, 9:10 pm beautiful 8 lb 15 oz baby girl Makenna Ray was born. She was showing all signs of being a perfect healthy little girl.

July 7 1999, We are home, and she isn’t acting quite right, her breathing is “weird”, she won’t eat and seems to just be sleeping. Her hands and feet are purple and cold, it is a hot day in July. It was after hours and after a couple frantic calls to my mom and Makenna’s dad about what I should do, I called her pediatrician at home. He was up flying but his wife called his cell phone and let him know what was going on. He called me within 5 min and told me he would meet me in the ER. Skipping ahead through the ER stuff, unbeknownst to me, her pediatrician called in a favor and had a neonatologist from anchorage come down on the medivac to asses Makenna. Just before we are about to load her on the ambulance to take her to the airport to medivac to anchorage, the neonatologist has us all in a room explaining the things that could be wrong with her, we wouldn’t know for sure until they got to Anchorage, the only thing I can remember from what he said was ” I don’t want you to do anything desperate however there is a good chance she isn’t going to make it to Anchorage.” WHAT?!! I knew she was sick, I could see it in her, the deathly gray color of her skin, the lack of response when the were poking her with multiple needles but I was still in shock. As they were loading Makenna onto the ambulance, the neonatologist took my dad aside and told him “She will NOT survive the altitude change on flight to anchorage.” my sister and brother in law got me to Kenai to catch a commercial flight to anchorage, ( her dad flew on the medivac with her) On the plane, I just kept praying and praying for God not to take her and crying and crying, the other passengers had to think I was crazy, my sister flew up with me and I thank God for her because I would have been lost and probably never made it without her because I couldn’t even think clearly. At that time we did not attend church and we really didn’t speak of God and praying in our home. I had gone to church as a child and knew about praying and did minimally throughout my adult life to this point. I got to anchorage to find my baby girl was there and alive, however, she was not good, test revealed congenital heart disease, she had 4 different things wrong and would have to have surgery soon! She was so sick that it took 2 weeks in Anchorage just to get her stable enough to be medivaced to Portland,OR. I kept saying and believing my God would not get us this far only to take her, if he was going to take her he would have done so on the medivac. I keep choosing to believe that she would be fine, there were NO other options.

We finally make it to Portland and she under goes her first closed heart surgery at 2 weeks old, her second closed heart at 3 weeks old. After a month of hospital stays we are finally able to go home. Now skip ahead to age 3….its time for Makenna to undergo her major open heart surgery that we had known all along was going to eventually happen. At first I just prayed…then I started praying for God’s will to be done, then it changed to God’s will being done and ACCEPTING whatever His will was for my little girl…..It was so difficult to turn it all over to God and say “here she is God, she is yours and I will accept what your plan is for her…No matter the outcome….I may not like it but I WILL accept it.” It reminds me of when God asked Abraham to offer his son up as a sacrifice. Anyway now We have a very serious choice to make….Do we go with the low mortality rate surgery that will definitely require more surgery or High mortality rate surgery that will mostly fix her and require minimal surgeries later? Our choice was to tell the Dr to do what he thought was best. The last thing the surgeon said to us as we were leaving his office was ” I will pray for God to guide my hands”

Her open heart surgery was a success….her heart is pretty much normal….the surgeon was able to find a 3rd alternative that we didn’t even know existed until he got her opened up. Praise God!

Around the time Kenna was 4ish, she started asking me all kinds of questions about Jesus and his mom and when we would get to meet His momma….I struggled trying to tell this precious child how it all worked in terms she could understand, only to have her come back with ” Mommy, I don’t want to see Jesus AGAIN, anytime soon.”…..WHAT?????????? I was instantly covered in goose bumps and wondered and have wondered since…Did my baby girl see Jesus during her last surgery?? My thoughts are, yes she did!

God definitely has a plan for Makenna….He is working in and through her everyday and her love for Him is strong.

Matthew 17:20

“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could day to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”

akchristianwife — Wed, 09 May 2012 01:13:35 +0000

It seems that Satan has been attacking lots of areas in my life lately, my self esteem, my parenting, my job ( BIG TIME) and so on…..so I’m sure I am doing something right! If I’m following the way of God then he is going to attack full force but if I’m just trodding along doing my own thing then he will leave me alone and let me be. It is so easy to get discouraged in this situation and just give up. I’m sure part of this attack is because I have recently started distance courses through moody bible institute working to earn certificates in ministry and leadership. Satan keeps slowly and sneakily finding ways to take up my time so that I think I don’t have time to blog or study. However I refuse to let him win! I serve a great big God and with Him at my side there isn’t anything I can’t do. I love Ephesians 6 10:18 in times like these.

”A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.”

The Blessing

akchristianwife — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 13:44:07 +0000

Numbers 6:24-26

“May the Lord bless you and protect you. may the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. may the Lord show you his favor and give you his peace.”

I say this to my little girls at bedtime or nap time everyday. In fact they expect it, my version is a little different but the meaning is still the same. No matter how frustrated I am, sometimes at our house bedtime and nap time can be a battle of wills, anyway no matter the frustration, usually by the time I finish their blessing I have calmed down because I am speaking God’s word over them. I don’t want to speed through it or be angry while I’m speaking His word and He doesn’t want me to be either.

4-13-12

akchristianwife — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:54:38 +0000

Luke 1:45

“You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said.”

I have watched the Lord work in my life and I have seen His blessings flow over me and my family, and every time it happens I am in awe. He has blessed us in ways I can’t even begin to describe. I believe in what the Lord says He’ll do, I hold tightly to His promises, I have faith. Sometimes I get frustrated in the events in my life that are taking place and my faith starts to slip but then I have to take a step back, breathe deep and be thankful for what I do have, and look at the ways I have already been blessed. I pray a lot, and usually when I start to have a weak moment, I pray…its amazing how a simple little prayer can change my whole outlook on a situation and how much better I feel afterwards.

“Father God, I ask you today to bless the person reading this, hold them tightly in your arms God and let them feel the comfort of all that you are. For the ones struggling in their faith, show yourself to them, Lord, I ask for you to heal the hurts that some of them are feeling today. I don’t know what is going on in their lives, their hearts or mind, Lord, but you do. I thank you for every blessing and every storm. I thank you for the free gift of eternal life that you have given me.

In Jesus name

Amen”

Stepping out of the comfort zone….

akchristianwife — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 01:24:45 +0000

How often are we called to step out of our comfort zone, our safe little box that we stay wrapped up in? And how often do we actually do it? You know that little voice in the back of your mind asking you to do something you would never in a million years do? Yeah, well that little voice is God asking you to do something for him and we are called to do what He asks of us. Over the past few years God has stretched me in ways that I never thought possible for me to stretch and grow and while it scared the liver out of me, it has been great, it has blessed me and made me so much better. Don’t be afraid to answer Gods call, He has something great for you, if He leads you to it, He will lead you through it. God has great things planned for us and wants to bless us in amazing ways.

“God has put a plan into their minds, a plan that will carry out his purposes. They will agree to give their authority to the scarlet beast, and so the words of God will be fulfilled.”

(Revelation 17:17 NLT)

Todays thoughts

akchristianwife — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 13:51:41 +0000

Matthew 17:20

“You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”

I have faith that God will provide in lean times. He’s never failed me.

I have faith that when God puts something on me like this blog, He has a plan for something GREAT

I have faith that if God brings me to it~ He WILL bring me through it!

I have faith that when I ask God for something and it doesn’t come to pass it’s because he has something bigger and better for me~ and it’s ALWAYS in His time! I don’t always understand His timing at the time but I always know that His timing is perfect~ EVERYTIME!

I believe by that I am saved and that I WILL be going to heaven at the end of my race!

In faith I walk everyday….with God holding me and leading the way!

What does faith mean to you?

Faith

akchristianwife — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 13:44:45 +0000

1 Corinthians 16:13

“Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong.”

Sometimes standing in faith is not easy, and sometimes it feels easier to just give up, however, giving up is not an option. I know I serve a big God and that He is bigger and stronger than any storm that will come to pass, I just have to stand tough and not give into the temptation to lose faith. I know that whatever is going on in my life, good or bad, God is standing there with me, that He has my back. There is a plan for my life that I don’t even know about and I am ok with that. When it seems like everything is going wrong, I will praise Him anyway, I will give thanks and know that He is going to work it all out. Sometimes we have to go through the trials and tribulations to get to the good that God has in store for us, so don’t give up and don’t lose faith.

Hebrews 11:1 is one of my very favorite verses it says;

“What is Faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see.” It goes on to say in Hebrews 11:3 ”By Faith we understand that the entire universe was formed at God’s command, that what we now see did not come from anything that can be seen.” I understand that for some it is hard to believe in something you can’t see, feel or touch and thats ok, but I’m gonna tell you this, I’d rather live my life as though God does exsist so that when my time comes and there is a heaven, I am headed there. Let there be NO doubt, I 100% believe there is a God, a heaven and a hell and I do not want to spend eternity in hell! If it doesn’t exsist then I have lived a good life being kind and loving and doing what God has asked of me….so really what does it hurt to believe, to have faith?

Good Friday

akchristianwife — Fri, 06 Apr 2012 18:06:53 +0000

Good Friday…..just stop and reflect today….Jesus died for our sins so that we can have eternal life…..WOW….all the suffering he went through for us is pretty overwhelming when you stop and think about it. If you have not seen the movie Passion of the Christ….I reccomend that you watch it. It is pretty graphic and hard to watch at times, however, I think it is a great reminder to all of us.

Be a blessing…….

akchristianwife — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 17:24:37 +0000

Hebrews 7:7 (NLT)

“And without question, the person who has the power to give a blessing is greater than the one who is blessed.”

Being blessed by someone is great, but, being the person doing the blessing is 100 times better! Its the greatest feeling to do something for somebody else, even small things like holding the door open for them at the post office, giving a smile to a stranger as you walk into the grocery store, taking the shopping cart back to the store from the parking lot for someone…..There are a million ways to bless others….you never know how that one little thing might just change that person’s life. Go be a blessing…..and see how it changes your life.